I will always wear the blue and blue, the owl, key and fleur de lis too.

[NOTE: This is an in-depth post about me and me as a Kappa. If you don't care to read, feel free to click back to Facebook now.]

The decision to join a sorority wasn't something that was just instilled in me since I was little. The whole sorority 'concept' hadn't even crossed my mind until I transferred into Georgia Southern in fall 2009. I had previously been to two junior colleges, one of which was already in Statesboro, and the other being closer to home. I knew girls that had joined sororities both here and at other schools, and the idea always seemed "neat" but at the same time I wasn't sure it was for me. We all know that as non-Greeks, you watched movies like Legally Blonde and Animal House and just assume that is how real Greek life is, and I did. While the party scene looked appealing, I felt like I didn't fit the Elle Woods image so I tossed Greek life out of my mind, for a little bit anyway. During summer 2009, I attended orientation here at Southern and during our lunch break we were given the opportunity to walk around to different tables that were talking about different things on campus, one being Greek Life. My friend Allison and I hesitated as we walked up to the table, but the girl seemed friendly so we gave it a shot. After talking to her, Allison and I both decided we wanted to go through rush that fall, and in the weeks to come we soon signed up for recruitment and anxiously awaited August. August came and recruitment week started and for me to be so un-shy, I thought I was going to be sick walking into our six sororities. (Yes, GSU only has six sororities: Alpha Delta Pi, Alpha Omicron Pi, Kappa Delta, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Phi Mu, and Zeta Tau Alpha). I will admit that I had my heart set on ADPi. My Mimi had been an ADPi and being a legacy, I thought it may give me the upper hand. It did keep me until the third day, but by Pref Day, I only had Kappa left. I was heartbroken. I didn't want ADPi solely for the "status" they had acclaimed on campus, I wanted it because I wanted to share that bond with my Mimi. That Thursday morning, upon recieving my schedule for the day, I dropped out of recruitment. I'm sure now you're really starting to wonder what's going on. Well I had known a girl in Kappa, Abby,  from having classes with her at a different college, and upon my dropping, she and the membership chair, Kelcey, called me all weekend, continously, asking me to please re-think my decision and accept their bid because they saw the qualities in me to be a great Kappa woman. By Saturday night, I had thought long and hard about it, and I decided that being offered a bid after-the-fact was God's way of giving me a second chance. I saw it as God saying, "Michelle, this is where you belong!". So I took God's words, and called Abby and Kelcey and on Monday, the first day of classes, I signed my bid and my adventure as a Kappa began.

Skipping through the "New Member Period" and onto Initiation. On October 10, 2009 I was initiated into one of the greatest women's organizations in the world. I became a member of the Zeta Upsilon Chapter of Kappa Kappa Gamma. I am in 1 of 138 INTERNATIONAL chapters. Yes, we are "international" because we have 4 chapters in Canada, and an Alumnae chapter in England. But anyways. At the time, I never knew how much I would grow to love Kappa. And to be honest, there have been days during my time in Kappa where I've asked myself did I make the wrong decision? Should I have not taken the bid? Should I drop my letters now? Usually these questions have stemmed from a bump in the road of life that at the time was involving a Kappa situation. But I always went back to remembering the message God had told me that weekend, and I felt at ease and I went on. Being in a group of 100+ girls always leaves room for petty drama and bickering, and now I have learned to look past it and remember that we are a group of girls, and it is what it is, and not to let things affect me.

I didn't truly realize how much Kappa meant to me until this past Fall's recruitment. I didn't realize it while talking to the PNM's about Kappa though, I oddly realized it Friday morning as I was putting on my formal jersey and preparing to head to the house to meet our new ladies. I remember just standing in front of the mirror and just looking at the letters across my chest. Upon arriving at the house, my love for Kappa was seeping out of all of my pores, along with the icky sweat here in August in south Georgia.  At 2, it was time for us to stand on our front lawn and wait for the girls to RUN to our house. Since our house is first on row, naturally we are last, so we stand there eagerly as the other five sororities run past us. Finally, we could hear our Kappa Pi Chi's and the new girls SCREAMING, and we instantly got in the road and screamed "HELL YES WE'RE THE BEST K-K-G!" until our little hearts couldn't stand it anymore. I don't know if I've ever jumped up and down and yelled so much in my life, but I loved it. I loved it so much, I honestly teared up as the girls rounded the corner and onto Greek Row. That day, it hit me.

A semester has gone by, and for a brief moment in time, I asked myself again, Did I make the right decision? Should I have taken the bid? Should I drop my letters now? I'm just being honest. And if I'm the only sorority girl in the world that has ever questioned her decision, then I guess maybe I should have dropped my letters, I don't know. Why, might you ask did I again question myself after I had realized I had such a great love for my sorority. Well, part of it was money, part of it was I felt like I wasn't making the connections I had longed for when joining a sorority. I had spent most of my summer and fall with other sororities. I had spent seriously 90% of my time with ADPi, and various KD's. During Christmas break, I did quite a bit of soul searching and came to this conclusion: The lifelong connections I long for, will truly show once my next chapter has begun. I'll see who I made connections with 10 years down the road when I'm still Facebooking TFM's to their wall, or possibly flying to see one of them on their wedding day. We expect instant gratification, but that isn't always possible. I decided however to go alumni in May. I didn't choose to go alumni because of past grievances, I chose to go alumni because I want my main focus to be on school. If I was on-track, I'd have to go alumni in May anyway because I would  be graduating. But I'm not graduating, so going alumni is my best option since I've been in college four years. My mom and I discussed this entire concept in full detail and I explained to her why I wanted to stay in Kappa and go alumni instead of just dropping my letters. To me, when you drop your letters, you aren't a Kappa anymore. You are stripped of those letters. It's frowned upon to wear your letters and even have them on your car. I felt like dropping my letters meant that I was disrespecting my six founders and everything they worked so hard in 1870 to start, and I felt like I dissrespecting my sisters, not only here at Southern, but everywhere. I value everything Kappa stands for, and I can't fathom giving that up. And I want those connections, those alumni connections. I want to be able to move anywhere in the country, and know that there is an alumni chapter there, or near there, that I can contact and they will greet me with open arms and help me if needed. I chose to stay in Kappa this semester, and go alumni in May, because the next chapter in my life and in my life as Kappa, is just as important to me as the Kappa life I live now in college. I want to know that until the day I'm put 6 feet under, I have a large number of sisters, that if something happened, atleast ONE of them will be there. Kappa has so many wonderful opportunities for us as our stint as alumni, and I want to take full advantage of that. I know in May when I'm "done" with being an active here at Southern, that I'll miss the chapter meetings, and the mandatory "spirit week", and all of that, but I know that I will still be able to look back and smile, and thank God for speaking to me and for giving me a second chance. Now that I've teared up writing this entire thing, I'll end with this... "In the years after, with tears and with laughter, we'll always remember our dear Kappa days."