We all know atleast one person in our lives that can't handle their alcohol. You know, those people that don't know their limit and end up becoming crazy belligerant (spelling?) drunk and causes problems and makes you look bad and totally embarasses you? Well, I must admit that I have one of these friends and I don't know what to do anymore.
We are going to call her Q.
Q's other friends and I are at our wit's end with her drinking. There are many background influences that tend to send her drinking over the edge and I will not divulge into any of those because they are a part of her personal life but let's just say it boils down to an asshole fraternity boy, ok. Anyways, nine times out of ten she gets entirely too drunk and her other friends and myself are left to pick up the pieces and babysit her. I will honestly admit I have zero patience when it comes to babysitting a drunk 21 year old whether I'm sober or intoxicated. Q gets overly inebriated and gets violent, tends to wander off, and usually ends up losing her clothes all in the mix. It's getting entirely too out of hand and we don't know what to do about it anymore. I know that we need to sit her down and explain to her that her actions are unacceptable. We've all had those times of being too drunk and need to be taken care of but Q needs it everytime she drinks. She doesn't go out nightly but when she does go out she can't just drink socially (as in one or two). I always say she has the mindset of "blackout or get out". She's a lightweight that will argue you until she's blue in the face telling you she isn't.
The point of this post is that I want a 3rd party opinion. I want to know what ya'll think could be a possible "solution" to this constant problem or what you might would do in this situation. I'm afraid she's going to lose most of her friends because we are all tired of playing babysitter to an adult. It's physically and emotionally wearing. I will never, ever turn my back on Q, I want to help her at all costs, but I've ran into a brick wall. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone that doesn't know the players because they don't have a dog in the fight so they tend to be more open and honest on the situation. So ladies, please help me! I'm honestly afraid that if we don't do something soon to help Q that something bad could happen and I know I could not handle if something did happen to her.
I feel like this whole post is scattered, and I'm sorry. I'm feeling pretty scattered myself.
XOXO, Michelle
Every group has "that girl" and sometimes she is a blast to have around because no matter how drunk you get she makes you look sober and actually add some entertainment to a boring night but all in all no one wants to be the babysitter.
ReplyDeleteI would usually suggest to stop inviting "that girl" out on adventures where alcohol is involved and only to sober events. She'll eventually either find a new party crowd whose behaviors are more similar to hers or get upset and start to inquire why she is no longer invited to tag along to the bars.
At this point, I would sit down with Q at a public place for lunch and discuss with her the drinking problem. Explain to her how you feel, you love hanging out with her but being babysitter is cramping your style. Also, tell her that y'all are concerned about her and that she is embarrassing not only to herself but to her friends as well and that her behavior is causing people to not want to include her in activities. Suggest her talking about her feels sober so when she drinks all her bottled up emotions don't come out.
Also, maybe try a few different watering holes so that she doesn't keep running into things that bring up the past. A change of scenery may help to bring her out of her funk.
Good luck with Q! Hopefully you'll be able to help her and encourage her to have healthier drinking habits.
XOXO
Sarah
This is such a hard situation! Sorry you have to deal with it. I suppose my advice would be to try talking to Q. Just laying it out all on the table for her to see. I've learned that ppl won't change unless they want too, so even after talking to her, she may not change and at that point...that's all you can really do.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you girl!
This is so tough! My pledge class in college was very close. We liked to go out and have a good time, but we knew our priorities. Yet, there was one girl that went out all the time. She didn't get like your friend on most nights, but it was not unusual for her to go out five-six nights a week.
ReplyDeleteIt finally got to a point that something needed to be done. She was starting to slip in some classes and other relationships were starting to falter. She had an alcoholic background in her family, so we knew it was not a good situation to let her continue in her ways. One of my great-grandparents was an alcoholic and I have seen first hand what it does to a family.
So, we sat down with her and had somewhat of an intervention. We told her that she needed to tone it down and that we were concerned about her. She saw nothing wrong with her behavior. Therefore until she saw her behavior as something that needed to be corrected it was going to continue. It is that whole you have to admit to know that you have a problem. Our next approach was to just prevent her from going out. We would do stuff as a group but stay at someone's house. She had no one to go out with. Take this approach with your friend if she does not respond to you talking to her. Start limiting her drinks, make her drink water every now and then, make her have fun sober. Also, make said asshole talk to her if that is even possible. If she sees that it is unattractive to guys how she is acting she will probably stop.
This is a tough situation to be in, because I have been there before. Please let me know if you need anymore help.