I have a serious issue with letting people (mostly guys) go that hurt me. Instead of acknowledging their wrong doings and deleting them from my life, I seem to just put them on the back burner for some reason. I don't know if I'm hoping something's going to change or I'm waiting on an apology, whatever. Needless to say, the changes never occur and neither do the apologies. No change, no apology, but he's still sitting in the back of my mind. I will admit there have been a few instances where I've kicked the dude to the curb and haven't spoken, let alone thought, about him since and I'm proud of myself for those few times but it's these times, like right now, that I get angry with myself for hanging on. This week has been a week of just rubbing salt in old wounds because a certain boy that did me dirty a few weeks back has been on my mind for the past two weeks and having to be around him this week nonstop just made letting go hard. Especially when I drunkenly walk up to him and demand an explanation, which I did get but I don't remember half of what was said. I did get an apology but taking stock in his apology would be stupid on my part. I guess you would call me a "glutton for punishment" with circumstances like this. I am trying to make a conscious effort to kick people to the curb, especially right now because I know it's what I need to do. I know God doesn't give me anything I can't handle, but sometimes I wish these things came with instructions or something.
"So don't bring me those big brown eyes
and tell me that you're sorry
You might as well throw gasoline on a fire"
and tell me that you're sorry
You might as well throw gasoline on a fire"
girl I know exactly how you feel..I "dated" a guy a couple years back that constantly did me wrong but still he was on my mind and the first bit of attention he would show me I jumped. I struggled with this for a while and it tore me up inside. I eventually met T which got my mind off of this other guy and was FINALLY able to move on. My advice would be try to pay more attention to new guys and less attention to old ones. I know that sounds silly..but once you realize that you truly can/will move on it will make it so much better and you will realize how silly it was and how you deserve so much better!
ReplyDeleteI've been in the exact same situation!! It's like deep down I keep thinking they'll change or something, but of course they don't. Eventually something happens and the guy is kicked out for good but until then I just can't seem to let go
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