"Symptoms of the virus...include severe cerebral malfunctioning, or stupidity."

This lovely article was in my school newspaper today...

"Beware of the GTSNP Virus

Students of Georgia Southern University, I require your full attention. An epidemic has swept our campus and taken over our ladies. I am talking of course about the Giant-T-Shirt-Non-Pants (GTSNP) virus.

Symptoms of the virus include females wearing giant T-shirts and a form of non-pants and usually include severe cerebral malfunctioning, or stupidity.

The virus seems to be spreading mostly over sorority girls but has been known to transfer to those closest to them.

Now that word is out about the virus, the main thing to do is remain calm. Some of you may be thinking, “But how can we stop the virus? How can we protect ourselves?”

A key to protecting yourself is finding those infected. This should be very simple because the virus leaves all of the infected in the same state of external decay.

First you will notice the T-shirt. It will be larger than the female wearing it by at least three sizes and will normally be a bright color, sometimes with anywhere from one to many logos for local businesses, fraternity formals and bars printed on them.

Next, you will notice the lack of pants. Anyone can wear a T-shirt and jeans but the virus calls for a lack of pants. Please be warned: Leggings and athletic shorts are not pants. Do not be confused; it could be the difference between your life and death.

Other things you may notice are Rainbow brand flip-flops or a Polo Ralph Lauren ball cap. Essentially, the infected will display signs of preparing to go to the gym, without ever going to the gym.

The infected may appear healthy by wearing full prom make-up – trust me when I say this is a trap.

The virus spreads quickly through oral transfer. The infected prey on the weak by flapping their jaws open and letting a cluster of annoying sounds fall out. This horrible phenomenon is, oddly enough, called “talking.” However, these sounds the infected make are not words, clauses or proper sentences.

To hunt these infected you must simply equip yourself with a T-shirt cannon and a pair of pants. Any type of pants will do, really, but jeans seem to work best – khakis or slacks agitate the infected because, “like, thaaay jusss arrrn comfrbllllll.”

When approached by or approaching the infected, ready your T-shirt cannon and fire to stun them. Once they have hit the ground they will become agitated. This is where things can get messy. You will need to convince the infected to wear the pants you have brought with you.

At this point the infected's only defense is to spread the virus by “talking.” Because of the severe cerebral damage that has been done due to the virus, you can counter the attack with simple math and physics.

Memorize a formula — stay alive.

Once you have disarmed the infected, the next step is to kill the virus. This can only be done with an injection of sanity to the temple.

I know that times are hard and it is terrifying to be surrounded by this malicious virus every day. But, if we can stop the virus, then sanity can thrive. It is imperative that we fight back and stop the virus, humanely.

Or we could just go all Walking Dead on their asses."

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I may have seemingly unintentionally started an uproar via Twitter this morning when I posted a tweet about the article at 8am. I even commented to the newspaper who replied that this was all based on OBSERVATION. I am beyond baffled how the outfit choices of young women make them stupid and I am almost positive that my outfit doesn't prove nor deny whether I am smart or stupid. So this "observation" defense is worthless.

I am in no way offended that she dislikes how 3/4 of our campus dresses, I am, however, offended that she calls sorority girls out as the main people wearing this "virus" and calls us stupid. Greek women are many things, and being intelligent is one of them.

I understand that opinion articles are exactly that... opinion, but that doesn't mean you throw your common sense to the way-side.  This tongue-and-cheek article was less than mediocre and a journalist knows that you never fully get your point across to the masses if you bash people in the process.

The article is pure ignorance and while she may  have OBSERVED that many girls on campus wear large tshirts with shorts, etc, there is no clear OBSERVATION that the people who choose to wear this outfit are, in fact, stupid.