Out of sight, out of mind apparently.

I have been an alumni of Kappa Kappa Gamma for a little over 7 months and I must say that I have learned a lot about my bond or the lack thereof with the girls I call my sisters. Quite frankly, I'm extremely disappointed. I had a fear in May that this semester would end up exactly the way it has. For the first few months of this semester, I tried to keep in touch with the girls still in the chapter and tried to initiate hanging out or something of the sort. Naturally the answer is always "Omg, yes!" but has it happened? No. I went out for a sister's 21st and while I was glad I was invited, I still felt out of the loop. One of my sisters is in two of my classes and during Homecoming, she invited me to happy hour with the girls and the fraternity we were going to Homecoming with. Considering I hang out with that fraternity on the reg, the guys were basically all I talked to because the girls were awkward around me. It never fails though, they all act excited to see me but then instantly walk away and go about their business. Later in the week, I felt extremely shunned and my feelings got a little hurt by how some of the girls treated me at a school-wide Homecoming function. I decided to fore-go the rest of the Homecoming festivities partly due to the concussion I had given myself earlier in the week and the other because of the way my sisters had treated me. Besides the sister I see in classes three days a week, no sister speaks to me. No sister texts me, tweets me, Facebooks me, calls me, nothing-- out of sight, out of mind apparently.

Honestly, I feel like I "wasted" my time being a part of the organization that I have come to love so much. I feel like I "wasted" my parent's money. It hurts to think that the girls I have called my sisters aren't really there for me like I once thought they were. I seem to always think people are my real friends or are good friends and then I end up getting slapped in the face with the inevitable truth.

Basically, my feelings are just hurt.

I wanted to join a sorority to make those lifelong friends with a bigger connection. I wanted to feel like I belonged to something, something than bigger than me. It hurts my heart to think that looking back, I quite possibly didn't get these things.